Once, a long time ago all people had four legs and two heads.
And then the gods threw down thunder bolts and split everyone into two.
Each have then two legs and one head; but the separation left both sides with a desperate yearning to be reunited, because they each shared the same soul.
And ever since then all people spend their lives searching for the other half of their soul.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Did you know there are two verses to Ring Around the Rosy?
Ring around the rosy, pocket full of posies
Ashes, ashes we all fall down.
The cows are in the meadow eating buttercups
Ashes, ashes we all stand up!
I had no idea. The things you learn from a toddler cd.
Did you know that the song dates back to the bubonic plague in London in 1665 and that the lyrics may refer to the plague itself?
"The symptoms of the plague included a rosy red rash in the shape of a ring on the skin (Ring around the rosy). Pockets and pouches were filled with sweet smelling herbs ( or posies) which were carried due to the belief that the disease was transmitted by bad smells. The term "Ashes Ashes" refers to the cremation of the dead bodies!" (http://www.rhymes.org.uk/ring_around_the_rosy.htm)
Ring around the rosy, pocket full of posies
Ashes, ashes we all fall down.
The cows are in the meadow eating buttercups
Ashes, ashes we all stand up!
I had no idea. The things you learn from a toddler cd.
Did you know that the song dates back to the bubonic plague in London in 1665 and that the lyrics may refer to the plague itself?
"The symptoms of the plague included a rosy red rash in the shape of a ring on the skin (Ring around the rosy). Pockets and pouches were filled with sweet smelling herbs ( or posies) which were carried due to the belief that the disease was transmitted by bad smells. The term "Ashes Ashes" refers to the cremation of the dead bodies!" (http://www.rhymes.org.uk/ring_around_the_rosy.htm)
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Retropackum
Looking back through the past months and years of this blog I have noticed that I often start with something along the lines of 'Update' or 'Catch Up' or, when I can't or don't want to spend the time and brain power to write what is going on in my own life I post something that I received in an email or read online or something.
In 2009, I posted 18 times. That's one and a half posts a month. Pretty pathetic.
In 2008 I posted 24 times. That's twice a month!!! A portion of that was copied stuff but for the most part it was actually thoughts and what made me think them, or more specifically, the things that made me think.
2007 showed less posts, but more personal stuff.
2006 was really the year for this blog. Most of it was walking through day by day stuff. Reading all that now its no wonder no one ever read it and its a wonder I even posted it; although it is interesting for me to go back and read what was going on in my life then. 2006 was also the year Daddy got so sick and died so there's lots of that stuff in there too.
I started this blog in 2005, right before I moved to Simpson. So in reading through all that I find that I talked a lot about what I did each day and didn't really hear a lot back from folk. Interesting...
I'm not really sure why I started this retrospective, but it is now done. I've said a zillion times 'I'll post more I really will!' I may, I may not. It all depends what happens that worth posting about.
As my RA my freshmen year ALWAYS said: TTFN
Colonel Skippy
In 2009, I posted 18 times. That's one and a half posts a month. Pretty pathetic.
In 2008 I posted 24 times. That's twice a month!!! A portion of that was copied stuff but for the most part it was actually thoughts and what made me think them, or more specifically, the things that made me think.
2007 showed less posts, but more personal stuff.
2006 was really the year for this blog. Most of it was walking through day by day stuff. Reading all that now its no wonder no one ever read it and its a wonder I even posted it; although it is interesting for me to go back and read what was going on in my life then. 2006 was also the year Daddy got so sick and died so there's lots of that stuff in there too.
I started this blog in 2005, right before I moved to Simpson. So in reading through all that I find that I talked a lot about what I did each day and didn't really hear a lot back from folk. Interesting...
I'm not really sure why I started this retrospective, but it is now done. I've said a zillion times 'I'll post more I really will!' I may, I may not. It all depends what happens that worth posting about.
As my RA my freshmen year ALWAYS said: TTFN
Colonel Skippy
Monday, March 15, 2010
Business vs. Family
"Its not personal, its business."
"What does that even mean? Whatever anything is it ought to begin by being personal."
- You've Got Mail
At church last week Brad started a series on the Lord's Prayer. His focus was on the first phrase, "our Father who are in heaven." He talked about the word 'Abba' and how it wasn't a word describing familiarity but a "deep and trusting reverence". He talked about the differences between business and family.
A business relationship is about doing, what you can do for me. A family relationship is about being, being who you are.
In a business relationship you are expected to perform, and only if you perform adequately will you be accepted. In a family relationship you are accepted, and out of that comes a performance, or not - yet another aspect specific to family.
A business runs on reciprocity - I sell means you buy and we both get what we want. A family runs on whats needed - if you need and I have, then I give and if you never give it back, you're still family.
In a business you make a list of problems to bring to the attention of the management. In a family, there is no chance of eviction.
Later Brad posed the question: why would God listen to my prayers? The answer is simple: because He is still my Father. No matter what we do or don't do or say or don't say; no matter how we act or how we fail, He is still our Father. "And no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand." (John 10:29b) We are family, and that means forever.
Have you ever heard anyone say, "I'm in business with God"? I never have. But I constantly hear about the family of God, the family that is the church, "God our Father, Christ our brother" (Casting Crowns 2009) "I'm so glad, I'm a part of the family of God". Business contracts end, family never does. Blood is thicker than water and all that.
The point is: when we pray the Lord's prayer, when we pray at all, are we addressing a business contact or a family member? Do we finagle and bargain and negotiate or do we boldly ask for what we need? Brad has mentioned several times that when a member of the congregation wants to talk to him in his office they quietly knock on the door and wait for him say 'Come in', but when one of his children need or want something they come straight in. Not only is it amusing to watch Brad tell this story but as a child who barged into Mom's office often, regardless of who was in there or how busy she looked, I completely appreciate the point. It never mattered who Mom was talking to or what she was doing, when I wanted or needed something from her or that was in her office I opened the door and walked into the office. I wonder what my walk with God would be like if I approached Him the same way I approached Mom.
"The only person who dare wake a King at 3am for a drink of water is his child." Would you wake a King in the middle of the night for something as simple as a drink of water? You would if you were his child. And the reality is, we are children of king, THE KING, so why don't we act like it?
"What does that even mean? Whatever anything is it ought to begin by being personal."
- You've Got Mail
At church last week Brad started a series on the Lord's Prayer. His focus was on the first phrase, "our Father who are in heaven." He talked about the word 'Abba' and how it wasn't a word describing familiarity but a "deep and trusting reverence". He talked about the differences between business and family.
A business relationship is about doing, what you can do for me. A family relationship is about being, being who you are.
In a business relationship you are expected to perform, and only if you perform adequately will you be accepted. In a family relationship you are accepted, and out of that comes a performance, or not - yet another aspect specific to family.
A business runs on reciprocity - I sell means you buy and we both get what we want. A family runs on whats needed - if you need and I have, then I give and if you never give it back, you're still family.
In a business you make a list of problems to bring to the attention of the management. In a family, there is no chance of eviction.
Later Brad posed the question: why would God listen to my prayers? The answer is simple: because He is still my Father. No matter what we do or don't do or say or don't say; no matter how we act or how we fail, He is still our Father. "And no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand." (John 10:29b) We are family, and that means forever.
Have you ever heard anyone say, "I'm in business with God"? I never have. But I constantly hear about the family of God, the family that is the church, "God our Father, Christ our brother" (Casting Crowns 2009) "I'm so glad, I'm a part of the family of God". Business contracts end, family never does. Blood is thicker than water and all that.
The point is: when we pray the Lord's prayer, when we pray at all, are we addressing a business contact or a family member? Do we finagle and bargain and negotiate or do we boldly ask for what we need? Brad has mentioned several times that when a member of the congregation wants to talk to him in his office they quietly knock on the door and wait for him say 'Come in', but when one of his children need or want something they come straight in. Not only is it amusing to watch Brad tell this story but as a child who barged into Mom's office often, regardless of who was in there or how busy she looked, I completely appreciate the point. It never mattered who Mom was talking to or what she was doing, when I wanted or needed something from her or that was in her office I opened the door and walked into the office. I wonder what my walk with God would be like if I approached Him the same way I approached Mom.
"The only person who dare wake a King at 3am for a drink of water is his child." Would you wake a King in the middle of the night for something as simple as a drink of water? You would if you were his child. And the reality is, we are children of king, THE KING, so why don't we act like it?
Friday, February 05, 2010
The WORD is ALIVE
"Looking out from His throne, the Father of life and of men, chose to make Himself known and show us the way back to Him.
Speaking wisdom and truth into the hearts of peasants and kings, He began to unveil the Word that would change the course of all things.
With eyes wide open, all would see the Word is alive! And it cuts like a sword through the darkness with a message of life to the hopeless and the frail; breathing life into all who believe! The Word is alive!! And the world and it’s glories will fade, but It’s truth it will not pass away. It remains yesterday and forever the same, the Word is alive.
Simple strokes on a page, eternity’s secrets revealed. Carried on, from age to age, speaks truth to us even still.
And as the rain falls from Heaven, feeds the earth before it returns; Lord, let Your Word fall on us and bring forth the fruit You deserve
With eyes wide open, let us see the Word is alive! And it cuts like a sword through the darkness with a message of life to the hopeless and the frail; breathing life into all who believe! The Word is alive!! And the world and it’s glories will fade, but It’s truth it will not pass away. It remains yesterday and forever the same, the Word is alive.
The Bible was inscribed over a period of two thousand years in times of war and in days of peace by kings, physicians, tax collectors, farmers, fishermen, singers, and shepherds.
The marvel is that a library so perfectly cohesive could have been produced by such a diverse crowd over a period of time which staggers the imagination.
Jesus is its grand subject, our good is its design, and the glory of God is its end.
With eyes wide open, all would see the Word is alive! And it cuts like a sword through the darkness with a message of life to the hopeless and the frail; breathing life into all who believe! The Word is alive!! And the world and it’s glories will fade, but It’s truth it will not pass away. It remains yesterday and forever the same, the Word is alive."
Argue with that.
Speaking wisdom and truth into the hearts of peasants and kings, He began to unveil the Word that would change the course of all things.
With eyes wide open, all would see the Word is alive! And it cuts like a sword through the darkness with a message of life to the hopeless and the frail; breathing life into all who believe! The Word is alive!! And the world and it’s glories will fade, but It’s truth it will not pass away. It remains yesterday and forever the same, the Word is alive.
Simple strokes on a page, eternity’s secrets revealed. Carried on, from age to age, speaks truth to us even still.
And as the rain falls from Heaven, feeds the earth before it returns; Lord, let Your Word fall on us and bring forth the fruit You deserve
With eyes wide open, let us see the Word is alive! And it cuts like a sword through the darkness with a message of life to the hopeless and the frail; breathing life into all who believe! The Word is alive!! And the world and it’s glories will fade, but It’s truth it will not pass away. It remains yesterday and forever the same, the Word is alive.
The Bible was inscribed over a period of two thousand years in times of war and in days of peace by kings, physicians, tax collectors, farmers, fishermen, singers, and shepherds.
The marvel is that a library so perfectly cohesive could have been produced by such a diverse crowd over a period of time which staggers the imagination.
Jesus is its grand subject, our good is its design, and the glory of God is its end.
With eyes wide open, all would see the Word is alive! And it cuts like a sword through the darkness with a message of life to the hopeless and the frail; breathing life into all who believe! The Word is alive!! And the world and it’s glories will fade, but It’s truth it will not pass away. It remains yesterday and forever the same, the Word is alive."
Argue with that.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Monday, December 28, 2009
God is busy
A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in he looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, 'God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes.' The lecture room fell silent.
You could hear a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am God. I'm still waiting.' It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him, knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.
The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked, stunned, and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, 'What the heck is the matter with you? Why did you do that?' The Marine calmly replied, 'God was too busy today protecting American soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me.
And all God's people said -- AMEN!
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in he looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, 'God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes.' The lecture room fell silent.
You could hear a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am God. I'm still waiting.' It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him, knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.
The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked, stunned, and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, 'What the heck is the matter with you? Why did you do that?' The Marine calmly replied, 'God was too busy today protecting American soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me.
And all God's people said -- AMEN!
Thursday, November 05, 2009
So you think you know everything...
• A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
• A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
• A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
• A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
• A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
• A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
• A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
• A snail can sleep for three years.
• Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
• All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
• Almonds are a member of the peach family.
• An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
• Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
• Butterflies taste with their feet.
• Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
• "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
• February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
• In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
• If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
• If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.
• It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
• Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
• Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
• No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
• On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.
• Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
• Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
• Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
• "Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.
• The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
• The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
• The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
• The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.
• The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
• The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).
• There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
• There are more chickens than people in the world.
• There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous
• There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."
• There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
• Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
• TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
• Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
• Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
• Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.
.............Now you know everything
• A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
• A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
• A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
• A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
• A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
• A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
• A snail can sleep for three years.
• Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
• All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
• Almonds are a member of the peach family.
• An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
• Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
• Butterflies taste with their feet.
• Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
• "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
• February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
• In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
• If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
• If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.
• It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
• Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
• Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
• No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
• On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.
• Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
• Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
• Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
• "Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.
• The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
• The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
• The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
• The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.
• The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
• The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).
• There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
• There are more chickens than people in the world.
• There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous
• There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."
• There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
• Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
• TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
• Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
• Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
• Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.
.............Now you know everything
Monday, October 19, 2009
Catch up...
I know, long time no NOTHIN.
I'm here to update you all in the saga that is my life.
I moved to Boise in July and spent all of July, all of August and all of September looking for work. FINALLY, at the end of September I was hired on as a server at the Courtyard by Marriott in Banquets. Its basically Conference Services and catering together, we do all the set up and serve the food, clear dishes and completely tear down. I was really excited and very grateful to get the job but struggled because I was so out of shape (not doing anything for five months is killer) and because I was only getting a few hours a week.
Last Sunday night one of the online job searches I had used emailed me with a new posting for Vector Marketing. I had never heard of it and didn't really want to but filled out the application anyway. The next day I got a call that they wanted to set up an interview, they had an opening at 5:30 so I took it. The three part interview process took about three hours and at the end I had a job!
As of Wednesday I am an independent contractor for Vector Marketing showing Cutco in home appointments. I make my own schedule (outside of training which was Wednesday, Thursday and Friday last week, a few hours today and a few hours Wednesday night; and weekly team meetings) and get paid whether I sell or not - so its not only based on commission.
I did six appointments between training on Friday and Sunday night. I have three set up today and need lots more before next Sunday. I'm really excited at the opportunities with the company: the product is awesome and the people are honest and supportive; there's lots of room for advancement and pay advances - which after five months of unemployment is much needed.
Basically that's whats going on in my life.
Once again I will be attempting to update more often than once a month. In the mean time - enjoy your day!
I'm here to update you all in the saga that is my life.
I moved to Boise in July and spent all of July, all of August and all of September looking for work. FINALLY, at the end of September I was hired on as a server at the Courtyard by Marriott in Banquets. Its basically Conference Services and catering together, we do all the set up and serve the food, clear dishes and completely tear down. I was really excited and very grateful to get the job but struggled because I was so out of shape (not doing anything for five months is killer) and because I was only getting a few hours a week.
Last Sunday night one of the online job searches I had used emailed me with a new posting for Vector Marketing. I had never heard of it and didn't really want to but filled out the application anyway. The next day I got a call that they wanted to set up an interview, they had an opening at 5:30 so I took it. The three part interview process took about three hours and at the end I had a job!
As of Wednesday I am an independent contractor for Vector Marketing showing Cutco in home appointments. I make my own schedule (outside of training which was Wednesday, Thursday and Friday last week, a few hours today and a few hours Wednesday night; and weekly team meetings) and get paid whether I sell or not - so its not only based on commission.
I did six appointments between training on Friday and Sunday night. I have three set up today and need lots more before next Sunday. I'm really excited at the opportunities with the company: the product is awesome and the people are honest and supportive; there's lots of room for advancement and pay advances - which after five months of unemployment is much needed.
Basically that's whats going on in my life.
Once again I will be attempting to update more often than once a month. In the mean time - enjoy your day!
Monday, October 05, 2009
Children...
A Teacher presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
1.Don't change horses until they stop running.
2.Strike while the bug is close.
3.It's always darkest before Daylight Saving Time.
4.Never underestimate the power of termites.
5.You can lead a horse to water but How?
6.Don't bite the hand that looks dirty.
7.No news is impossible
8.A miss is as good as a Mr.
9.You can't teach an old dog new Math
10.If you lie down with dogs, you'll stink in the morning.
11.Love all, trust Me.
12.The pen is mightier than the pigs.
13.An idle mind is the best way to relax.
14.Where there's smoke there's pollution.
15.Happy the bride who gets all the presents.
16.A penny saved is not much.
17.Two's company, three's the Musketeers.
18.Don't put off till tomorrow what you put on to go to bed.
19.Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you have to blow your nose.
20.There are none so blind as Stevie Wonder.
21.Children should be seen and not spanked or grounded.
22.If at first you don't succeed get new batteries.
23.You get out of something only what you see in the picture on the box
24.When the blind lead the blind get out of the way.
25.A bird in the hand is going to poop on you.
26.Better late than . . . . .pregnant.
27. As you shall make your bed so shall you ... mess it up.
28. It is better to light one candle than to... light an explosive.
29. You have nothing to fear but... your Principal.
You have nothing to fear but... homework.
30. If you can't stand the heat... don't start the fireplace.
If you can't stand the heat... go swimming.
31. I think, therefore I... get a headache.
32. Early to bed and early to rise... is first in the bathroom.
33. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a... blister.
34. There is nothing new under the... bed.
35. The grass is always greener... when you leave the sprinkler on
The only stupid question is the one that is never asked, except maybe "Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?" or "Isn't it morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was speeding?" --Age 15
1.Don't change horses until they stop running.
2.Strike while the bug is close.
3.It's always darkest before Daylight Saving Time.
4.Never underestimate the power of termites.
5.You can lead a horse to water but How?
6.Don't bite the hand that looks dirty.
7.No news is impossible
8.A miss is as good as a Mr.
9.You can't teach an old dog new Math
10.If you lie down with dogs, you'll stink in the morning.
11.Love all, trust Me.
12.The pen is mightier than the pigs.
13.An idle mind is the best way to relax.
14.Where there's smoke there's pollution.
15.Happy the bride who gets all the presents.
16.A penny saved is not much.
17.Two's company, three's the Musketeers.
18.Don't put off till tomorrow what you put on to go to bed.
19.Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you have to blow your nose.
20.There are none so blind as Stevie Wonder.
21.Children should be seen and not spanked or grounded.
22.If at first you don't succeed get new batteries.
23.You get out of something only what you see in the picture on the box
24.When the blind lead the blind get out of the way.
25.A bird in the hand is going to poop on you.
26.Better late than . . . . .pregnant.
27. As you shall make your bed so shall you ... mess it up.
28. It is better to light one candle than to... light an explosive.
29. You have nothing to fear but... your Principal.
You have nothing to fear but... homework.
30. If you can't stand the heat... don't start the fireplace.
If you can't stand the heat... go swimming.
31. I think, therefore I... get a headache.
32. Early to bed and early to rise... is first in the bathroom.
33. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a... blister.
34. There is nothing new under the... bed.
35. The grass is always greener... when you leave the sprinkler on
The only stupid question is the one that is never asked, except maybe "Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?" or "Isn't it morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was speeding?" --Age 15
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Short Quiz
The following short quiz consists of four questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional smart person.
Scroll down for each answer.
The questions are NOT that difficult.
But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered each question!
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, "Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?"
Wrong Answer
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant, and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross, but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively proves the theory that most professionals do not have the brains of a four-year-old.
Scroll down for each answer.
The questions are NOT that difficult.
But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered each question!
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, "Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?"
Wrong Answer
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant, and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross, but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively proves the theory that most professionals do not have the brains of a four-year-old.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
This ad was posted to the personals:
To the guy who tried to mug me in downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 05-27-09, 1:43 A. M. EST
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend and me, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, wasn't it?
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet [that made his day!]. I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ...after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that?
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
P.S. Remember this motto.... An armed society makes for a more civil society!
Date: 05-27-09, 1:43 A. M. EST
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend and me, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, wasn't it?
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet [that made his day!]. I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ...after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that?
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
P.S. Remember this motto.... An armed society makes for a more civil society!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTO
Alabama - H ell, Yes, We Have Electricity.
Alaska - 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona - Yes, But It's A Dry Heat.
Arkansas - Literacy Ain't Everythang.
California - By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.
Colorado - If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.
Connecticut - Like Massachusetts , only smaller.
Delaware - We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.
Florida - Ask Us About Our Grand Kids And Our Voting Skills.
Georgia - We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii - Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)
Idaho - More Than Just Potatoes. Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois - Please, Don't Pronounce the 'S'
Indiana - Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa - We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas - First Of The Rectangle states
Kentucky - Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana - We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.
Maine - We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland - If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts - Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden 's And Our Senators Are More Corrupt
Michigan - First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota - 10,000 Lakes.... And 10 Zillion Mosquitoes
Mississippi - Come visit And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri - Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana - Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Honest Elections
Nebraska - Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada - Hookers and Poker!
New Hampshire - Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey - You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here!
New Mexico - Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York - You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney,And No Right To Self Defense!
North Carolina - Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota - We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio - At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma - Like The Play, But No Singing
Oregon - Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania - Cook With Coal
Rhode Island - ! We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina - Remember The Civil War? Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender, Yet!
South Dakota - Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee - Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum
Texas - Se Hable Ingles
Utah - Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont - Too liberal for the Kennedys
Virginia - Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington - Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!
West Virginia - One Big Happy Family...Really!
Wisconsin - Come Cut the Cheese!
Wyoming - Where Men are Men and the Sheep are Scared. Home of Brokeback Mountain
The District of Columbia - The Work-Free Drug Place
Alaska - 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona - Yes, But It's A Dry Heat.
Arkansas - Literacy Ain't Everythang.
California - By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.
Colorado - If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.
Connecticut - Like Massachusetts , only smaller.
Delaware - We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.
Florida - Ask Us About Our Grand Kids And Our Voting Skills.
Georgia - We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii - Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)
Idaho - More Than Just Potatoes. Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois - Please, Don't Pronounce the 'S'
Indiana - Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa - We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas - First Of The Rectangle states
Kentucky - Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana - We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.
Maine - We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland - If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts - Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden 's And Our Senators Are More Corrupt
Michigan - First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota - 10,000 Lakes.... And 10 Zillion Mosquitoes
Mississippi - Come visit And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri - Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana - Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Honest Elections
Nebraska - Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada - Hookers and Poker!
New Hampshire - Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey - You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here!
New Mexico - Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York - You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney,And No Right To Self Defense!
North Carolina - Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota - We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio - At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma - Like The Play, But No Singing
Oregon - Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania - Cook With Coal
Rhode Island - ! We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina - Remember The Civil War? Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender, Yet!
South Dakota - Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee - Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum
Texas - Se Hable Ingles
Utah - Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont - Too liberal for the Kennedys
Virginia - Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington - Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!
West Virginia - One Big Happy Family...Really!
Wisconsin - Come Cut the Cheese!
Wyoming - Where Men are Men and the Sheep are Scared. Home of Brokeback Mountain
The District of Columbia - The Work-Free Drug Place
Thursday, July 09, 2009
A Woman Should Have...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A set of screwdrivers,
A cordless drill,
And a black lace bra.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
One friend who always makes her laugh...
And one who lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
Eight matching plates,
Wine glasses with stems,
And a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A feeling of control over her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to fall in love
Without losing herself...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to quit a job
break up with a lover
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
When to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That she can't change
The length of her calves,
The width of her hips, or
The nature of her parents...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That her childhood may not have been perfect…
but; its over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to live alone...
Even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Whom she can trust,
Whom she can't,
And why she shouldn't take it personally…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Where to go...
Be it to her best friend's kitchen table,
Or a charming inn in the woods,
When her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish
In a day...
A month..
And a year...
If nothing else... know that you are truly loved and thought of by your girlfriends…and that they only wish the best for you and your life.
A set of screwdrivers,
A cordless drill,
And a black lace bra.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
One friend who always makes her laugh...
And one who lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
Eight matching plates,
Wine glasses with stems,
And a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A feeling of control over her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to fall in love
Without losing herself...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to quit a job
break up with a lover
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
When to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That she can't change
The length of her calves,
The width of her hips, or
The nature of her parents...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That her childhood may not have been perfect…
but; its over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to live alone...
Even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Whom she can trust,
Whom she can't,
And why she shouldn't take it personally…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Where to go...
Be it to her best friend's kitchen table,
Or a charming inn in the woods,
When her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish
In a day...
A month..
And a year...
If nothing else... know that you are truly loved and thought of by your girlfriends…and that they only wish the best for you and your life.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Firm Foundation (Matthew 7:24ff)
So we were sitting on the Mount of Beatitudes today under a canopy up the hill from the church. Hutch spoke on the different ways that we as Christians react to culture. Then there was some scripture reading and some singing. The focus wasn't really on anything, just Matthew 5-7, the Sermon on the Mount. Fitting seeing as we were sitting on the site commemorating that event.
The thing that caught my attention was the story of the man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell down and the floods came up and wind blew and beat against the house, and the house did not fall because it was founded on the rock. It took me to the last...three years of my family's life. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the wind blew and beat against us. Daddy got sick. Bills came due. We lost Daddy, then we lost the house. More bills. Every time we thought we'd get a period of calm, another storm would rage. I spent two full years just waiting for the fifth, then the sixth and the seventh shoes to fall. Something always happened.
I remember wondering if God enjoyed kicking us while we laid on the floor writhing in pain. I remember feeling guilty for even thinking that. And I remember being amazed that somehow we were still functioning and surviving, and knowing that the only way we were still functioning and surviving was God. Try juxtaposing that! God must be kicking us while we're down because this sucks, but He's the only reason we haven't kicked the bucket yet.
It hit me today why we didn't kick the bucket. Firm foundation. Even the days I thought about being kicked I also thought about the gajillion other things God had gotten us through. It never ceases to amaze me how something like a foundation plays out in life. Today we saw the synagogue at Capernaum. The one you normally see in pictures and postcards is a beautiful limestone building, well half a building anyway. But under the limestone is the foundation of black basalt that dates back to the first century. Foundations remain. Even when the building is gone, foundations remain.
The fact of the matter is that my family survived the lose of father, home, grandfather, various dramatic and traumatic events, financial drought and medical issues in the past three years because God had laid a firm foundation in us. And because of that foundation even on the days we couldn't praise Him in the storm that was raging all around us, we knew He was still there. It is amazing to look back and see the ways that that foundation came through in those days. I remember waking up some days so angry at God I didn't want to get out of bed, and without even knowing what was happening I was up and around and singing some old hymn I didn't even remember learning. I would suddenly realize that I was singing and stop, wondering when I learned the song and when I had started singing it. In those moments, all I had was my foundation. But in those moments all I needed was my foundation. Because of my foundation the rest of me was rained on and nearly drowned and blown hither and yon but did not fall, because I was...I am founded on my Rock, my Redeemer, my ever present Help in time of need, my Singer, my Song, my Lord.
The thing that caught my attention was the story of the man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell down and the floods came up and wind blew and beat against the house, and the house did not fall because it was founded on the rock. It took me to the last...three years of my family's life. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the wind blew and beat against us. Daddy got sick. Bills came due. We lost Daddy, then we lost the house. More bills. Every time we thought we'd get a period of calm, another storm would rage. I spent two full years just waiting for the fifth, then the sixth and the seventh shoes to fall. Something always happened.
I remember wondering if God enjoyed kicking us while we laid on the floor writhing in pain. I remember feeling guilty for even thinking that. And I remember being amazed that somehow we were still functioning and surviving, and knowing that the only way we were still functioning and surviving was God. Try juxtaposing that! God must be kicking us while we're down because this sucks, but He's the only reason we haven't kicked the bucket yet.
It hit me today why we didn't kick the bucket. Firm foundation. Even the days I thought about being kicked I also thought about the gajillion other things God had gotten us through. It never ceases to amaze me how something like a foundation plays out in life. Today we saw the synagogue at Capernaum. The one you normally see in pictures and postcards is a beautiful limestone building, well half a building anyway. But under the limestone is the foundation of black basalt that dates back to the first century. Foundations remain. Even when the building is gone, foundations remain.
The fact of the matter is that my family survived the lose of father, home, grandfather, various dramatic and traumatic events, financial drought and medical issues in the past three years because God had laid a firm foundation in us. And because of that foundation even on the days we couldn't praise Him in the storm that was raging all around us, we knew He was still there. It is amazing to look back and see the ways that that foundation came through in those days. I remember waking up some days so angry at God I didn't want to get out of bed, and without even knowing what was happening I was up and around and singing some old hymn I didn't even remember learning. I would suddenly realize that I was singing and stop, wondering when I learned the song and when I had started singing it. In those moments, all I had was my foundation. But in those moments all I needed was my foundation. Because of my foundation the rest of me was rained on and nearly drowned and blown hither and yon but did not fall, because I was...I am founded on my Rock, my Redeemer, my ever present Help in time of need, my Singer, my Song, my Lord.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Negev Trip May 25-28 2009
We just returned from our three day trip to the Negev. On Tuesday we saw the Elah Valley, this is the place where David fought Goliath. We then went up to Tel Azekah and talked through the whole battle. Quite amazing to sit there in the shade of a tree and see it happening in the valley below you.
After Azekah we went to Beth Guvrin to this amphitheater. Circular ruins with lots of rocks and ups and downs. Guess who climbed it first? ME! I was all over that thing! It was awesome!
We went through three sets of caves. The first was the tomb of some influential family with funny pictures on the wall and this ridiculous Greek script that I couldn’t read (arg). The second was called ‘The Musicians Cave’ (also a tomb) because there was a mural of a pair of musicians on the wall. Large, really creepy. The last set was called Bell Caves. BEAUTIFUL. Huge, almost bell shaped caves, ups and downs and little hidden nooks and crannies. WAY cool.
We stopped by Lachish (Sennacherib kicked the crap outta the city) and then went to Azhkelon. Look it up on a map and tell me what we did there! Nope, too long. We swam in the Mediterranean! I have never enjoyed ridiculously salty water so much in my life. And it was this perfect teal color. Amazing.
That night we spent at a hostel in Mizpah-Ramon.
Wednesday we started at Makhtesh Ramon. This huge hole in the ground that is not as deep as the Grand Canyon but crazy wide. It literally looks like this gigantic swimming pool with little hills inside. Amazingly beautiful and bright in the early morning sun.
Our next stop was Avedat, or Oboda. This was a Nabatean and then a Byzantine city with MORE fun ruins to climb all over! Only the signs said ‘climbing prohibited’, so I obeyed even though the boys didn’t. I only broke the rules to climb up behind the sign that said ‘climbing prohibited’, couldn’t resist.
The next thing we did might be my favorite yet (except St. Anne’s). We did a ‘wadi walk’ through the Nahal (Hebrew for wadi – a dry riverbed) Zin. I can’t give you elevation or length. But we walked mostly straight up for a hour or more. It was crazy cool amazing. But what made it amazing wasn’t the views, which were beautiful and breath taking, or the ibex which are cute, or being with my new friends which was fun. What made it amazing was the climb. Hard and fast, zigzagging up, up, up, HOT, TANGIBLE. I got to do this, I wasn’t just looking at it, I was doing it. That’s why things like St. Anne’s, the amphitheater and the Mediterranean, and Nahal Zin stick with me, I did it. Mizpah Ramon was sweet, but all I got to do was look at it. I climbed Nahal Zin. And I had a blast.
We also stopped at Beer Sheba (think Abraham etc) and Arad. This night we stayed at a hostel in Arad. Had a little trouble with people coming in late, but all in all a good stay.
Thursday
Our first (and longest) stop today was Masada. We were up there for two full hours. It was this largest Tel we’ve seen and the most impressive. We walked up the rampart the Romans had built to get in and end the siege and then walked through the western palace and what was believed to be the temple room before seeing the triclinium turned synagogue. Then we climbed down to the third tier of the three tiered northern palace, great lookout spot. We climbed back up and walked through a roman bath.
Our next stop was the Dead (Salt Sea). We parked and changed and went down to the water. As soon as you go ‘under’ water the water just takes you and floats you. Jocelyn – I floated!!! Like normal people float I floated!!! All I needed was water that has a ridiculous percentage of minerals and salt in it!!! After lunch we went to Engedi, which is a wadi system that leads back to these prime hidden waterfalls into little pools that we swam in – fresh water. We splashed around a little bit and then walked up to the source and then back down.
Qumran came next, and we made it in with half an hour before closing time. We saw caves one and four from afar (you can’t actually go into them) and got some really sweet pictures.
After Azekah we went to Beth Guvrin to this amphitheater. Circular ruins with lots of rocks and ups and downs. Guess who climbed it first? ME! I was all over that thing! It was awesome!
We went through three sets of caves. The first was the tomb of some influential family with funny pictures on the wall and this ridiculous Greek script that I couldn’t read (arg). The second was called ‘The Musicians Cave’ (also a tomb) because there was a mural of a pair of musicians on the wall. Large, really creepy. The last set was called Bell Caves. BEAUTIFUL. Huge, almost bell shaped caves, ups and downs and little hidden nooks and crannies. WAY cool.
We stopped by Lachish (Sennacherib kicked the crap outta the city) and then went to Azhkelon. Look it up on a map and tell me what we did there! Nope, too long. We swam in the Mediterranean! I have never enjoyed ridiculously salty water so much in my life. And it was this perfect teal color. Amazing.
That night we spent at a hostel in Mizpah-Ramon.
Wednesday we started at Makhtesh Ramon. This huge hole in the ground that is not as deep as the Grand Canyon but crazy wide. It literally looks like this gigantic swimming pool with little hills inside. Amazingly beautiful and bright in the early morning sun.
Our next stop was Avedat, or Oboda. This was a Nabatean and then a Byzantine city with MORE fun ruins to climb all over! Only the signs said ‘climbing prohibited’, so I obeyed even though the boys didn’t. I only broke the rules to climb up behind the sign that said ‘climbing prohibited’, couldn’t resist.
The next thing we did might be my favorite yet (except St. Anne’s). We did a ‘wadi walk’ through the Nahal (Hebrew for wadi – a dry riverbed) Zin. I can’t give you elevation or length. But we walked mostly straight up for a hour or more. It was crazy cool amazing. But what made it amazing wasn’t the views, which were beautiful and breath taking, or the ibex which are cute, or being with my new friends which was fun. What made it amazing was the climb. Hard and fast, zigzagging up, up, up, HOT, TANGIBLE. I got to do this, I wasn’t just looking at it, I was doing it. That’s why things like St. Anne’s, the amphitheater and the Mediterranean, and Nahal Zin stick with me, I did it. Mizpah Ramon was sweet, but all I got to do was look at it. I climbed Nahal Zin. And I had a blast.
We also stopped at Beer Sheba (think Abraham etc) and Arad. This night we stayed at a hostel in Arad. Had a little trouble with people coming in late, but all in all a good stay.
Thursday
Our first (and longest) stop today was Masada. We were up there for two full hours. It was this largest Tel we’ve seen and the most impressive. We walked up the rampart the Romans had built to get in and end the siege and then walked through the western palace and what was believed to be the temple room before seeing the triclinium turned synagogue. Then we climbed down to the third tier of the three tiered northern palace, great lookout spot. We climbed back up and walked through a roman bath.
Our next stop was the Dead (Salt Sea). We parked and changed and went down to the water. As soon as you go ‘under’ water the water just takes you and floats you. Jocelyn – I floated!!! Like normal people float I floated!!! All I needed was water that has a ridiculous percentage of minerals and salt in it!!! After lunch we went to Engedi, which is a wadi system that leads back to these prime hidden waterfalls into little pools that we swam in – fresh water. We splashed around a little bit and then walked up to the source and then back down.
Qumran came next, and we made it in with half an hour before closing time. We saw caves one and four from afar (you can’t actually go into them) and got some really sweet pictures.
Random Israel Stuff
·When the War of Israeli Independence ended in late 1948, they true the truce line with a green crayon.
·The Hill of Evil council north of Jerusalem is where the UN currently has its buildings.
·They think they’ve found a tower build by Nehemiah to a retaining wall built by David.
·Hezekiah’s Tunnel gets zigzaggy in the middle because its when the two sides were trying to find each other.
·No one knows why Hezekiah didn’t build the tunnel in a straight line, they had the technology a year earlier.
·Finding the Qumran scrolls brought the oldest original scroll of scripture to 150BC.
·There are 49 cisterns and 43 passages underground on the area called Harem esh Sharif, the Temple Mount.
·The Temple Mount has layers of history: the binding of Isaac, David bought the threshing floor from a Jebusite, Solomon built the temple, the Assyrians destroyed it, they rebuilt the temple and then it was destroyed again by the Romans. The Byzantine Christians left it in ruins and the Moslems built the Dome of the Rock in 691. Since then it has been under Moslem control and the Jews have only had real access to the Western Wall.
·Jerusalem is 2500’ feet above sea level and gets and average of 25” of rain a year.
·There is a park in Israel commemorating the bicentennial of the US and a memorial to the Challenger incident. They also have a park called Canada park.
·The route Samson took from home to Timnah now has a high speed train following it, that train is now known as the Samson Express by 45 JUCers including myself.
·The tribe of Dan was originally given the coastal lands of the Mediterranean. Most of them chose instead to move northeast to above the Sea of Galilee. What would have happened if Dan had stayed?
·Solomon must have controlled Joppa and Gezer to get cedars from Lebanon to build his house and the temple. He married the Pharaoh’s (who had control of Gezer) daughter and Pharaoh gave him the city as a wedding present.
·Jericho is one of only three cities mentioned in the conquest as having been completely destroyed.
·In the day of our Lord, they would bury people in niches and seal it with rocks, wait about a year, remove the bones from the niche and put them in ossuaries to reuse the niche. Gives a new meaning to ‘let the dead bury their dead’ – doesn’t it?
·During the Passover Feast the population of Jerusalem swells, they may have been people camping out on the Mount of Olives. Maybe the Mount wasn’t as empty as we always portray it.
·Herod the Great was a ridiculously rich, psycho, mean man. He built fortresses everywhere and killed lots of people.
·The Hill of Evil council north of Jerusalem is where the UN currently has its buildings.
·They think they’ve found a tower build by Nehemiah to a retaining wall built by David.
·Hezekiah’s Tunnel gets zigzaggy in the middle because its when the two sides were trying to find each other.
·No one knows why Hezekiah didn’t build the tunnel in a straight line, they had the technology a year earlier.
·Finding the Qumran scrolls brought the oldest original scroll of scripture to 150BC.
·There are 49 cisterns and 43 passages underground on the area called Harem esh Sharif, the Temple Mount.
·The Temple Mount has layers of history: the binding of Isaac, David bought the threshing floor from a Jebusite, Solomon built the temple, the Assyrians destroyed it, they rebuilt the temple and then it was destroyed again by the Romans. The Byzantine Christians left it in ruins and the Moslems built the Dome of the Rock in 691. Since then it has been under Moslem control and the Jews have only had real access to the Western Wall.
·Jerusalem is 2500’ feet above sea level and gets and average of 25” of rain a year.
·There is a park in Israel commemorating the bicentennial of the US and a memorial to the Challenger incident. They also have a park called Canada park.
·The route Samson took from home to Timnah now has a high speed train following it, that train is now known as the Samson Express by 45 JUCers including myself.
·The tribe of Dan was originally given the coastal lands of the Mediterranean. Most of them chose instead to move northeast to above the Sea of Galilee. What would have happened if Dan had stayed?
·Solomon must have controlled Joppa and Gezer to get cedars from Lebanon to build his house and the temple. He married the Pharaoh’s (who had control of Gezer) daughter and Pharaoh gave him the city as a wedding present.
·Jericho is one of only three cities mentioned in the conquest as having been completely destroyed.
·In the day of our Lord, they would bury people in niches and seal it with rocks, wait about a year, remove the bones from the niche and put them in ossuaries to reuse the niche. Gives a new meaning to ‘let the dead bury their dead’ – doesn’t it?
·During the Passover Feast the population of Jerusalem swells, they may have been people camping out on the Mount of Olives. Maybe the Mount wasn’t as empty as we always portray it.
·Herod the Great was a ridiculously rich, psycho, mean man. He built fortresses everywhere and killed lots of people.
Randomness out of my travel journal
Notes about long flights:
Windows are great, except when you have to pee. Sacrifice the ten minute view for 10 hours of free peeing.
Drink of lots of water. Dehydration is too easy and it sucks.
Taking the contacts out was a great idea.
By the end of my first set of travel I will had navigated through three airports, four terminals, two airlines, two planes, two bus stations, two stations and three countries on two continents. Not bad for a days work.
Flying above moving clouds is a trip – flying about stationary clouds is WAY cooler.
In Scotland, roundabouts go left.
In Scotland, across the street from the airport is the perfect picturesque Scottish farmhouse.
In Scotland they have fantastic public transportation with double-decker buses and great drivers.
In Scotland its all green, earthy, beautiful, breath taking.
There is a prayer chapel in the Edinburgh Airport, complete with prayer rugs, books of Mormon, crucifixes and stained glass.
RBS – Make it happen. Hell yes.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Beginning of catch-up...
Sorry, I was gonna post more, but internet cost a pound for 15 minutes at the hostel, and that just gets ridiculous. So, I'm going to start where I am now an work backwards and forwards at the same time!!
I got to the airport last night and caught up on facebook and email and then went and joined the group from Simpson. We boarded and took off at landed in Tel Aviv this morning at 5:30am, got our luggage and traveled into Jerusalem via van. We got here and I unpacked (novel concept, COMPLETELY difficult living out of a backpack, not the living out of something concept, the hiker's backpack part) and took a shower and SLEPT. For longer than I meant to, but whatever. Ate lunch, and now I'm trying to catch up!!!
I had a somewhat profound thought this morning. The sun was just rising as we landed and left the airport. As it got above the horizon I thought to myself, "wow, this is the sun Jesus saw ever morning, especially those mornings He went out early to pray." This of course brought to mind movie lines (because what in my world doesn't?) from Newsies: "You know, you should see Santa Fe, everything’s different there. It’s all bigger. The desert, the sky, the sun..." She replies, "It’s the same sun as here." And he answers, "Yeah, it just looks different." And he's right - it does:it's bigger and closer and somewhat clouded but more radiant. But the point is that whether the sun looks different or not, the sun I saw come up this morning is the same sun Jocelyn will see when she drives to Orland to work this morning and it is the same sun Doug saw in Thailand when he got up at the ridiculously early hours he does. And rather than that commonality belittling it, this magnifies it all the more for me. Not only is the sun the same here, it will be the same sun when I get back to the states. And that will be the real test, can I live for the Son under the same sun He saw when I'm not where He walked?
I got to the airport last night and caught up on facebook and email and then went and joined the group from Simpson. We boarded and took off at landed in Tel Aviv this morning at 5:30am, got our luggage and traveled into Jerusalem via van. We got here and I unpacked (novel concept, COMPLETELY difficult living out of a backpack, not the living out of something concept, the hiker's backpack part) and took a shower and SLEPT. For longer than I meant to, but whatever. Ate lunch, and now I'm trying to catch up!!!
I had a somewhat profound thought this morning. The sun was just rising as we landed and left the airport. As it got above the horizon I thought to myself, "wow, this is the sun Jesus saw ever morning, especially those mornings He went out early to pray." This of course brought to mind movie lines (because what in my world doesn't?) from Newsies: "You know, you should see Santa Fe, everything’s different there. It’s all bigger. The desert, the sky, the sun..." She replies, "It’s the same sun as here." And he answers, "Yeah, it just looks different." And he's right - it does:it's bigger and closer and somewhat clouded but more radiant. But the point is that whether the sun looks different or not, the sun I saw come up this morning is the same sun Jocelyn will see when she drives to Orland to work this morning and it is the same sun Doug saw in Thailand when he got up at the ridiculously early hours he does. And rather than that commonality belittling it, this magnifies it all the more for me. Not only is the sun the same here, it will be the same sun when I get back to the states. And that will be the real test, can I live for the Son under the same sun He saw when I'm not where He walked?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Chocolate...
For the past seven years of my life that has been a word I hated. When I could eat it chocolate was the greatest thing on the planet - especially when combined with peanut butter. And then I couldn't eat it anymore...and it became worse than a swear word or lemon juice in a paper cut. When we discovered I was allergy to sugar and I was told to cut it out, I did it. No more chocolate, or cookies or cake or soda or fruit juice or fruit or spaghetti sauce a zillion other things, including splenda. Most days when I see 'sugar free' chocolate it just has splenda in it. This chocolate doesn't.
I was just about to start a big blab about how this chocolate that doesn't have sugar in it and that I can finally eat and won't kill me. Then I looked up the first ingredient - maltitol. A sugar alcohol. According to Wikipedia maltitol has 90% of the sweetness of sugar and all the same properties. What was I thinking?
It was SO good! I saw it and left it, and then we came back and I got it. And then we walked some more and then when we were waiting for the bus I ate some - and didn't die, didn't even get a headache. And then when we got back to the house I ate some more - and I'm still not dead. I'm probably two and a half inches into probably a nine inch bar. I'm not dead yet, I can't even really feel it. I'm just tired. Jesse pointed out that all the walking today (all over three coastal cities) probably helped work it through my system. It melted in my mouth. I could feel it melt and then spread all over my tongue. It was glorious. And now its gone. Only I still have six inches of chocolate sitting in front of me.
Sometimes, its better never to try something than to try it and like it and lose it. Whoever said 'it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at' probably never loved anyone. And probably was never told she couldn't eat chocolate ever again.
I was just about to start a big blab about how this chocolate that doesn't have sugar in it and that I can finally eat and won't kill me. Then I looked up the first ingredient - maltitol. A sugar alcohol. According to Wikipedia maltitol has 90% of the sweetness of sugar and all the same properties. What was I thinking?
It was SO good! I saw it and left it, and then we came back and I got it. And then we walked some more and then when we were waiting for the bus I ate some - and didn't die, didn't even get a headache. And then when we got back to the house I ate some more - and I'm still not dead. I'm probably two and a half inches into probably a nine inch bar. I'm not dead yet, I can't even really feel it. I'm just tired. Jesse pointed out that all the walking today (all over three coastal cities) probably helped work it through my system. It melted in my mouth. I could feel it melt and then spread all over my tongue. It was glorious. And now its gone. Only I still have six inches of chocolate sitting in front of me.
Sometimes, its better never to try something than to try it and like it and lose it. Whoever said 'it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at' probably never loved anyone. And probably was never told she couldn't eat chocolate ever again.
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