I think that today I lost an arm. Yep, I'm fairly sure that I cut my right arm off and gave it away.
Tonight was the first night in over three years that I have not worked the basketball game. It was actually the first athletic event that I haven't worked in a very long time. It was like cutting off my right arm.

The problem isn't my staff, they did a fantastic job. Or my apprentice who also did an outstanding job, and may be the reason we won both games. It wasn't even that I spent five hours of my life doing nothing...not homework or fun time or working, nothing.
The problem is that for so long I have defined myself by what I do. Over the past four years I have worked a total of four jobs on campus. I worked in the Library, in the Athletics office, as Game Management supervisor and for Conference Services. Junior year I worked all four at the same time. I am 'that redhead from athletics'. That's who I am. I am the one with keys or the one who can get you what you need or at least knows who to call to get you what you need. For so long I have been defined by what I do that I don't know who I am without that. And this year has been all about taking it away. I lost the library at the beginning of Fall semester because of scheduling conflicts. The athletics office was over at the end of last semester. I'm giving up Game Management as my apprentice steps in to take over, its happening right now. And at the end of the semester, April 25 (which is in 70 days and 11 hours) I will no longer work Conference Services.
Without all of that, who am I? What do I do? What do I think or feel or say or want? Where am I going and why am I going there? Who am I?

I don't really expect an answer. Because I'm sure that there isn't one, at least not a simple one. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So goodnight dear void.